Misguided Soul

24th April, 2018

You know, 

this is the most I'll ever live.

This is the most I'll ever be alive.

This moment and this moment.

Every passing moment I am living my life. 

forget everyone else.

I am out here beating my dick to the 

fantasies other people have of me. 

This is where the truth comes out. A blip, an inkling towards the real problem. 

despite efforts to believe that other people does not matter...110% of this person's 

energy is within the fantasies others have of them. What you think is the reason for 

this? Heh. Absolute horrific lived experiences. But yet, the person found their way

back to themselves...as it ought to be in this particular case. 

It is uncharted territory -- it is often left with wounds and scars left untended due to 

lack of education. But then, there is an air of privilege here. It is easier for this person

to figure out what went wrong because the spaces this person were in encouraged that. 

Not even neo-liberal white supremacy deterred this fact. This person successfully 

navigated white supremacy with less than a scratch and many accolades taken 

home. And so, there is still an issue. The issue of navigating therapy where the therapist has to 

know your mind in real-time. What can you say without experimental prescription drugs shoved down

your throat in the name of compliance. It has not been through the situation of compliance before..

and there is a great reason for it be placed in that space in the future --- therefore, it is damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I wanted to end this in a hopeful way...but to not acknowledge how things are it will and can be disrespectful. Therefore, I will say, that please continue to live, you have some work to do. 

**This is for the survivors and current warriors in domestic and sexual abuse situations**